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• Dreams 6 •


• 15 September 2004 •

I dreamt that i worked in an office with a bunch of conservative people [and no, that isn't even the worse part of this nightmare!].

Instead of cubicles, there was a long hallway with small rooms off each side of it, and two or three people worked in each room... i went to the lunch room, and was COMPLETELY pissed off and horrified to find two of my co workers spraying insecticide into the face of a beautiful black and white stray cat that they had found.. the cat was screaming and convulsing and the two people were both laughing.

I seriously started to get violent toward them, and i asked them why they were doing that, and their answer was because "it is a stray and no one will miss it"..... perhaps the most horrifying part of this dream was the fact that these people looked like "nice, respectable" people, and i could not fathom why they would ever be so cruel to this poor creature.

So, i took the kitty and was holding it and crying, and i thought that it was dead, but as i held it i felt the life come back into it, and at first the poor thing was still fucked up from inhaling all that poison, and was defecating and urinating all over the floor, but i just followed him around and patiently cleaned it up, and got him some food and water.

In the end of the dream, the cat survived and i took him home to live with me..... i was still disturbed when i woke up though... i can't tolerate animal abuse in my reality or my dream world.



• 27 February 2004 •

I see a government advertisement for beautiful Victorian houses for rent, for 200.00 per month. I become suspicious, but i am curious at the same time, and i call the phone number and arrange for an appointment. When i go to see the houses, i realize that they are just fancy dog houses, with no room inside, but to lay down in. I wonder how anyone can live in a place that is so small. I decide to go inside a few of them, and while crawling on my hands and knees, i see syringes, whiskey bottles and crack vials, and i realize that these houses are for homeless drug addicts and alcoholics, and i am disappointed in the government for not taking better care of these people.


• 24 February 2004 •

I met a boy who seemed rather cool, and i am looking forward to hanging out with him, and becoming his friend. He had light red hair, pale skin, and was a bit on the chubby side, and looks very young. He tells me that he works odd hours, and can only hang out between midnight and 5 am, but i am usually up during those hours, so it doesn't seem to pose a problem for me. He calls me and asks me to meet him at an all night grocery store, and when i get there, i am amazed at all the strange produce which is for sale. I become fascinated with a fruit called 'Ablabaze', which is round, bright purple and rough on the outside, and has large spikes protruding from its surface.

I think about how i can incorporate this strange fruit into an art assemblage that i am making, when the boy comes up behind me and tells me that we must leave immediately because "they are here". I do not stop to ask who "they" are, but instead, follow him out to the parking lot where there is a large white car with tinted windows, waiting for us. We get in the car, and i am surprised to see that it isn't being operated by anyone, or thing.

We get on the highway, and are going very fast, and i become afraid. The radio is playing, and there is an operatic piece playing, and a woman is singing that "roses are often poisonous", and this strikes me as odd and surreal.

We arrive at the boys house, and go down into the basement, where his room is. There are long, dark hallways that lead to nowhere, and rooms that spin around slowly. Suddenly, "they" are there looking for the boy again, and we have to run through the maze of the basement in an attempt to escape. As we are running, i ask him when his birthday is, and he replied "February 27", and i say "Oh, a Pisces", and then, another voice answers "No, a Vampire", and a large arrow came out of the darkness, piercing the boy in his chest. He burst into flames that are darker than his hair, and then, turned into a large, orange cat, who slips through a hole in the basement wall.

Suddenly, i find myself in a crowded concert hall, listening to an opera about how roses are often poisonous, and wondering where i have heard that song before.


• 16 February 2004 •

I receive a large envelope in the mail, and by the return address, i can see that it is from a friend of mine. I open the envelope, and in it, is a picture of him squeezing his penis, and a gross, pale yellow substance is squirting out, and there are dirty and threatening words written all over his body. I feel like i am about to get sick to my stomach, but then i wake up


• 12 February 2004 •

I am on a bus in the Southern part of The United States, and it is very hot, and the bus is driving very slow. i decide to get off the bus, and try to find a place where i can get some Iced Coffee, and i walk up to a restaurant that has air conditioning, and i go in. In the hallway of the restaurant, there are lines of homeless people who are standing there, trying to escape the heat. I sit down against the wall, and notice that there is a homeless man who keeps staring at me. When i look at him closer, he appears to be Johnny Depp. He then comes to sit beside me and rest his head on my shoulder. He keeps coughing, and i ask him if he is ok, and he says yes. Then, he sneezes, and his head falls off, and breaks on the floor.


[ 27 . december . 2003 ]

i am attending art school, and i realize that there is a final exam which is taking place today, but i have never attended the class because my schedule was over booked from the beginning of the semester, and i had too many classes, and couldn't get to this particular one, but i feel that i have to take the final regardless.

i go into the classroom, and the teacher, who is Kathy Bates, hands out the exam, which consists of one question, which reads,
"what would you miss the most when you graduate", to which i answer "all the things that i would have learned, had i attended this class".... after the exam, she calls me aside and tells me that she is giving me an A+ for my answer, and i am happy, even though i am not sure why she would give me such a great grade for such a simple answer.

i leave school and walk down the street, and i run into a girl that i used to know in Junior High School, named Mary Beth, and we hang out and catch up on things. she introduces me to two other girls: a black chick, who was her ex girlfriend, and a Puerto Rican chick, who is the new girlfriend of her ex girlfriend. i feel uncomfortable around them, and i have a "bad feeling" that something will go wrong if i hang out with these girls, but against my better judgment, i agree to have coffee and dinner with them. during dinner, a fight breaks out between Mary Beth and the black girl, and MB runs out into the street, and the black girl holds her down, while the Puerto Rican chick slashes her Achilles Tendon.

i freak out and call for help, but no one will listen. i keep trying to call 911, but the numbers on the phone won't dial, and the operator won't help me. then i finally get the phone to work, but i am told that i must provide the present day and date, and i can't remember it, and everyone else that i ask claims to not remember either, so again, no one will help me.

i run into a local medical center, but they too refuse to help me, and give me the run around. when i get back to MB, it is as if the attack never occurred, and she appears to be fine. we part ways, and as i am leaving, i run into Ron, a kid that i used to go to High School with. in real life, i have never liked Ron.... he was a notorious drunk, womanizer and reckless driver, and i have never had any respect for him, but in the dream he is a real nice guy, and i am happy to see him.

we hang out, and suddenly i realize that i am in love with him, and he is also in love with me. it is one of those feelings where nothing and no one else matters, and i feel so happy and complete. we are walking around behind an apartment complex, looking for a place to have sex, and we find one under a stairwell. despite the location, there is an unbelievable feeling of mystery and romance. we lay there for hours until it is dark, just talking and laughing and having a nice time. we get up, and go to his car, and he says that i can either go to his house, or he will bring me home. i opt for going home, and he starts up the car, and drives towards my house.

it starts to snow, and in a very short time, there is at least a foot of snow piled up. we are driving down the road, and everything looks so beautiful and peaceful, and i am beaming with happiness. then, he suddenly starts to drive like a maniac, and i get scared that we are going to crash. i ask him to slow down, but he only drives faster and faster. then, through the snow and directly in front of the car, there appears a naked chick, who is riding a bicycle. instead of swerving away, Ron drives straight at her, apparently trying to run her over.

then, the entire windshield becomes white, and there is no movement or sound anywhere around us, and it feels as though the car is suspended in mid air. Ron turns to me, and asks "What just happened?", and i answer that i have no idea. the next thing i know, i am in a room all alone, reading a poem that Ron has written for me, and the last line reads "from the guy who took you through the air, but left you on the ground"


[ 26 . december . 2003 ]

i am visiting a man, whom i don't know in real life, but in the dream, we are apparently friends. he calls me over to a supply room, and attempts to seduce me, and i am into it. i hear a knock at the door, and it is his wife, whom i was not aware of. she has short brown hair, and is rather plain looking, and i am struck by the fact that this couple does not look like they belong together.

she begins to tell me of his numerous affairs, and she starts to cry, and i feel bad for her, and tell her that she shouldn't stay with someone who obviously has no thought for her feelings, and who hurts her over and over like this guy seems to do. the husband then changes the subject, and offers to show us a new television that he has, which doubles as a computer.... it isn't anything like Web TV, but a rather high tech system, that i don't understand the workings of.

i start to surf the web, and come upon a web site that is displaying fashion magazine covers, and i am surprised and upset to see that one of the covers has an image of me, but the face is distorted just a bit, so that no one would recognize me if they didn't look closely. i begin to try to adjust the screen, so that i can take a screen shot of this web page, and report this person who is using unauthorized images of me, but the TV keeps moving from side to side, and i am unable to get a good capture.

suddenly, the police arrive and tell me that the man is wanted in connection with an international drug ring, and then the house becomes surrounded by cops, and myself and several other people scatter, hoping to get away. i am in a long flowing white nightgown, and i keep tripping over the hem as i run. i hide behind a house, and hear gunfire and realize that the cops are shooting anyone who was at the mans house, without asking questions. people are running around, shouting and freaking out, and trying to find places to hide. several people come behind the same house as i am behind, and i am afraid that this will attract attention and blow my cover, because there are so many of these people hiding in the same spot as myself.

then, all of a sudden, i am dancing the waltz with an older woman who is singing the most beautiful opera that i have ever heard, and i am in awe, and wish that i could sing that well... we spin around several times, each time getting further and further away from the hiding place. we waltz down to the hotel where i am staying, and when i arrive there, the manager yells at me because my three cats have been outside crying, because i have forgotten to feed them.


[ 21 . december . 2003 ]

i go to visit my friend Jay, who is living in an old mansion, which is laid out exactly like my dream house. his ex wife, April is there, and is living with him again, and they have a small infant. i am both happy and saddened by this. happy, because i know that he loves her, and wants things to work out between the, but sad, because i have always had a "thing" for him, but i have never acted upon it because there are some important differences between us, that would most likely not make for a happy or lasting union.

later that night, i am unable to find Jay, and i go from room to room looking for him. i find him laying on a bed, with a plastic bag over his head, and he is apparently suffocating. i bend over and rip the plastic, and he gasps for breath. he tells me that there was a serial killer hiding in the house, who did this to him, and i am freaked out because i am afraid that the guy is still lurking somewhere, and waiting for a chance to attack.

we begin to look for April, and the infant, and we find that April has been murdered, but that the baby is still alive and ok. i feel horrible for Jay, who is distraught over what happened to his wife, and i try to comfort him as best as i can, while also trying to find a way to get us all out of the house safely.

then, the killer appears, and we all run from room to room, trying to escape him. it is very hot in the house, and i want to put the air conditioning on in the room that we are hiding in, but Jay says that this is a bad idea, because the killer will hear it, and be able to find us. we have sex in that room, and Jay tells me that he loves me, and i am freaked out because i feel that he is moving way too fast, considering what just happened to his wife.

then, i am alone in the hallway, trying to vacuum up bits of debris that are in the green shag carpeting, and i am getting frustrated because the vacuum cleaner is not doing its job.

suddenly, i find myself walking on a familiar road which i often travel in dreams, but have never been on in real life. i am trying to get home, as i always am in the dream, but it is such a long walk, and it is getting dark, and i am tired. i try to hail down buses as they go by, but none will stop for me, and i feel exhausted just thinking about the walk that is ahead of me.



[ 20 . december . 2003 ]

i am going to a grocery store, when i notice that there are military tanks descending into the parking lot. i try to run into the store, but i fall, and when i look back, i notice that the tanks have large, cylinder shaped pieces of metal, which are jutting out of the front, and two forklift type devices attached to them. i assume that this is so that the tanks can barge their way into the brick store front. i get up off the ground, and try to get out of the way, but i have hurt my ankle in the fall, and it is hard for me to run, but somehow, i force myself.

i run into the store, trying to warn the other shoppers as to what is about to happen, and everyone gets into a panic and scatters for safety. i run down into the basement, where there are rooms, with stalls in them, that are lined up against the inner walls, like dressing rooms. i notice that all the stalls are filled with people who are hiding, so i take shelter under a stairwell instead.

i keep peeking out, trying to see if there are any soldiers who are trying to gain access to the basement, via the small windows which are at street level. i notice that there are, in fact, several soldiers who are crouched down, and looking in, and they simultaneously break the window glass, and fire machine guns directly into the stalls which are across from the windows.

i realize, in horror, that anyone who was in the stalls, is now dead, and that i was lucky to be spared. i wait, for what seems like hours, before i come out of my hiding place, and immediately check the stalls, and discover that everyone in them is dead. i make my way upstairs, into the store, and i have to step over piles of dead bodies.

when i get to the parking lot, i see Connie, who is the ex girlfriend of my ex boyfriend, Cam. in real life, i have never liked this girl because she seems to be rather cruel and uncaring, but in the dream, she is a nice person, and we get along well, and share a similar sense of humor. i get into her car, and notice that there is another guy in the backseat, whom i do not recognize. we decide to drive to New York, and on the way, we laugh and generally have fun, as if the brutal attack at the grocery store had never taken place.

we stop for gasoline, and to use the restroom, and the guy in the backseat gets out of the car, and follows me in the station. as i am using the bathroom, i overhear him talking to the clerk about me. he is telling her that he has seen my artwork, and is a fan of it, but he doesn't want to act like a blubbering fool in front of me, so he is playing it cool. he then buys a coke and a bag of salt and vinegar chips, and when i come out of the bathroom, he asks me if i would like something to eat or drink, and i say yes, and he shoots the clerk in the head, and steals all the money from the register, and runs outside


[ 22 . November . 2003 ]

I am in a beach house, which overlooks the ocean. I am looking out the window, when i notice that people on the beach are starting to freak out, and some of them throw themselves into the sea.

I look out the front door, and i see an army of zombies, heading towards the house. I run in the basement, and begin to pull down the shades. I then notice that the back door in the basement, is made from Styrofoam. As i try to barricade the door, a zombie crashes through and i stab him in the head with a pair of garden shears.

There are other people in the basement, who are making noise, and playing loud music, and i am worried that this will attract the attention of more zombies, and i keep turning off the radio, and telling them to be quiet, but they only respond by getting louder.

I then decide to do some laundry, but when i check the washer after the load is done, most of my items have disappeared. Later, when i am trying to push an old refrigerator in front of the basement door, i notice that my laundry is in the freezer, and there are popsicle sticks jutting out of the items. A man who is dressed in a carpenter's uniform, steps out of the freezer, says hello to me, and walks up the stairs, and a zombie attacks him, rips off his arm, and throws it down the stairs at me.


[ 26 . November . 2003 ]

I am with Marie, my best friend from High School, and we are going to a concert, and have to walk a long way to get there. We have arranged for another friend to pick us up at a bookstore, on the way back from the show.

As we are walking, we have to go through a rather dicey neighborhood. We walk by a pet store, which is in the process of opening, and in the window is a display with a huge water fountain, and 4 Chihuahua puppies. I notice that the fountain is spraying onto the puppies, and they are shivering, and one of them has ice forming on its head. i am horrified, and go into the store to report this to the owner, who doesn't seem at all concerned. she tells me that she has no room for the puppies inside, even though it is apparent to me that there are several cages behind the counter, that are clean and empty.

I then threaten to report her to the SPCA, and she agrees to remove the puppies from the window display, and bring them inside. My friend and i continue on to the concert, but stop for coffee at a shop across the street from the pet store. On our way out, i see the owner of the store, and one of her assistants, taking the puppies from the store, and the puppies are suspended on chains that wrap around their waists, and go up over their front legs. they are being carried in a "crucified" position, and it is then that i notice that the puppy with the ice on its head is obviously pregnant. The store owner then ties the puppies to telephone poles, and fenders of cars in the parking lot. I am both upset and disgusted at this behavior, and i run over to help the puppies, and when i try to free the pregnant puppy, i realize that it is frozen solid, and it breaks into a million pieces.

I start to feel very ill, and i need to find a bathroom immediately, but my friend is upset that we are already late to the concert, and insists that we start walking there right away. I try to keep walking, but i start to feel a pressure in my bowels, and i stop at a local government center to use the bathroom. There is a long line of people at the restroom, and many of them are either deformed or otherwise creepy looking. I am standing in the line, and i start to lose control, and when i finally make it to a stall, there is quite a mess to contend with.

There is a little boy in the bathroom, who is crying because he can't find his mother, and i let him in the stall with me, and try to comfort him, as i clean myself up. I come out of the stall, and a strange black woman comes up to me and tells me that "the moon is singing that someday you will find your treasure", and i am perplexed at her message.

We finally arrive at the concert, but i am disappointed because the singer of the band is standing in a balcony, and shouting out obscenities, and saying "i hate you all!", but no one else seems to notice, and everyone in the room moves as if they are dancing to the music that is being played by the rest of the band.


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